If You Read You'll Judge (book casing, front) I feel there is a universal sense amongst our generation that everything has been said and done. True. But who cares it could still be fun to pretend. (p. 18) NIRVANA is from Olympia WA, 60 miles from Seattle. NIRVANAS Guitar/vocalist (Kurt Kobain) And Bass-(Chris Novoselic) lived in Aberdeen 150 miles from Seattle. Aberdeens population consists of Highly bigoted Redneck - snoose chewing - deer shooting, faggot killing - logger types who "Ain't to partial to weirdo New Wavers." (Chad) drums is from an island of Rich Kid - L.S.D. Abusers. my lyrics are a big pile of contradictions. theyre split down the middle between very sincere opinions and feelings that I have and sarcastic and hopefully - humorous rebuttles toward cliche-bohemian ideals that have been exhausted for years. (p. 44) NIRVANA CANT Decide whether they want to be Punk or R.E.M. Indecision can often at times kill a band and NIRVANA are suicidal. (p. 51) WORDS suck. I mean, every thing has been said. I cant remember the last real interesting conversation ive had in a long time. WORDS arent as important as the energy derived from music, especially live. (p. 59) I am threatened by ridicule I am overly conscience of the sincerity in my voice I like to have sex with people I love my parents yet I disagree with merely everything they stand for. I understand and appreciate the value of religion for others. My emotions are affected by music. punk rock means freedom I use bits and pieces of others personalities to form my own. (p. 95) "One of the main problems I have is that I feel like im being evaluated 24 hrs a day, Being in a band is hard work and the acclaim itself just isnt worth it unless you still like playing And I do god how I do love playing live, its the most primal form of energy release you can share with other people besides having sex or taking drugs. (p. 107) Rock and Roll: 30 years = Exhauted! AH the good old days! The NOW generation: unaware recession, Technology finally caught up with us. Hip hop/RAP?=for the time being. yes good at least original; exhausted in 3 years. women? Yes. oppressed from chance since beginning. probably some ideas left in an unsaturated vagina. Record store chains and Radio play it safe, target audience, what sells, were completely at their mercy-it used to be the other way around. Djs: get into Real estate! (p. 129) "Punk is musical freedom. It's saying, doing and playing what you want. Nirvana means feedom from pain and suffering in the external world and thats close to my definition of punk rock," exclaims guitarist Kurt Kobain. (p. 156) Yeah I know I am a confused, uneducated, walking cliche but I don't need to be inspired any longer, just supported. (p. 169) There is a small percentage of the population who were BORN with the ability to detect injustice. they have Tendencies to question injustice and to look for answers in ways that would be considered abnormal (by the oppressor's standards). They have Tendencies and talents in the sense that they know from an early age that they have the gift to challenge what is expected for their future. (p. 173) This is not to be taken seriously. This is not to be read as opinions. This is to be read as poetry. Its obvious that I am on the educated level of about 10th grade in High school. Its obvious that these words were not thought out or even re-read. this writing style is what I like to call thru the perspective of a 10th grader, her/his attempt at showing that no matter what level of intelligence one is on, we all question love and lack of love and fear of love. (p. 175) I wish there was someone I could ask for advice. someone who wouldn't make me feel like a creep for spilling my guts and trying to explain all the insecurities that have plagued me for oh, about 25 years now. I wish someone could explain to me why exactly I have no desire to learn anymore why I used to have so much energy and the need to search for miles and weeks for anything new and different. (p. 189) Sometimes I wonder if I could very well be the luckiest boy in the world. (p. 192) Id be better off if I kept my mouth shut. (p. 194) Seven months ago I chose to put myself in a position which requires the highest form of responsibility a person can have. A responsibility that should not be dictated. . . . Everytime I see a television show that has dying children or seeing a testimonial by a parent who recently lost their child I cant help but cry. The thought of losing my baby haunts me every day. . . . I will fight to my death to keep the right to provide for my child. (p. 213) All that pot. all that supposedly unaddictive, harmless, safe reefer that damaged my nerves and ruined my memory and made me feel like wanting to blow up the prom. and the patience to play guitar for 5 hours every day after school. and to sleep during the day when I should have paid a bit more attention to my studies. (p. 223) Oh lord the guilt of success. during the past two years I have slowly come to the conclusion that I do not want to die. . . . Is it egotistical to talk about myself like this? I guess this song is for my father who is incapable of communicating at a level of affection in which I have always expected (pp. 225-226) NIRVANA will put out a couple of more brilliant albums on their own terms and then become frustrated with being so close to general public acceptance and so financially in debt, that they will eventually result in releasing spineless dance music like Gang of four. (p. 263) I made about 5 million dollars last year. . . . Ill be able to sell my untalented, very un-genious ass for years based on my cult status. (p. 267) I remember someone saying if you try heroine once you'll become hooked. Of course I laughed and scoffed at the idea but I now believe this to be very true. (p. 278) REWARD IF FOUND Excerpted from Journals by Kurt Cobain Copyright © 2002 by Kurt Cobain Excerpted by permission. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.